It’s no secret that something has gone missing in our public life: the ability to truly hear each other. In an age where much of our dialogue takes place in quick posts, sharp replies, and echo chambers, the practice of listening — not just hearing, but reflective listening — has become rare. And with it, civil discourse has eroded.
That’s why we launched Petaluma Conversations — a regular gathering designed to rebuild what’s been lost. We come together not to debate or persuade, but to understand. Using the simple but powerful tool of reflective listening, participants share their perspectives and then listen as others reflect back what they heard — often revealing not only what was said, but what was felt.
Reflective listening slows down the conversation. It creates space. It turns disagreement into curiosity. And, most importantly, it reminds us that the people we disagree with are still people.
The impact is tangible. When we reflect back someone’s words with care and clarity, walls come down. People feel heard. And that, more than anything, lays the groundwork for trust and connection — the bedrock of any functioning democracy.
Petaluma is not immune to the polarization we see nationally. But we can model something different. We can choose to speak with each other instead of at each other. We can listen in ways that change the tone — and the future — of our civic life.
Join us on Tuesday evenings this May. You might not leave with all the answers, but you’ll leave having truly been heard — and having truly heard others. That’s how community is built. One conversation at a time.
- John Crowley