Like many people, I grew up with a deep fear of public speaking. The thought of standing up in front of a crowd—whether it was five people or fifty—filled me with anxiety. I’d get that pit in my stomach, my voice would tremble, and my thoughts would scatter the moment I opened my mouth. I knew how limiting that fear had been in my own life, especially in school and professional settings. So when I became a father, I made a quiet promise to myself: my boys won’t grow up with that same fear.
I didn’t want them to see public speaking as something terrifying or unreachable. I wanted it to feel natural—just another form of self-expression. And so, at our dinner table, a tradition was born.
It started simply. I placed a $5 bill on the table and issued a challenge to one of my sons: “Stand up and speak for five minutes. I’ll pick the topic. If you make it to the end—without repeating yourself, going off-topic, or stopping—you get the five bucks.”
The topics were intentionally mundane or random: the color blue, wood, happiness, running, pockets. Whatever came to mind in the moment. The point wasn’t to have deep knowledge—it was to practice organizing thoughts quickly, to speak clearly, and to build comfort with being on the spot.
There were rules:
- No repeating the same sentence or phrase just to fill time.
- No rambling or going off on tangents.
- No stopping and saying “I don’t know what else to say.”
- No filler words like “um” or “you know.”
- You had to stand up. No slouching or talking from your seat.
At first, the task was hard. Five minutes can feel like a lifetime when you’re young and unsure. But $5 is good motivation when you’re a kid, and they gave it their best. And then they started to get better, and then they got really good
Within months, their hesitation disappeared. They began structuring their speeches with a clear beginning, middle, and end—even throwing in humor or storytelling to keep things interesting. They’d look me in the eye, use their hands to gesture, and pace their speech with confidence. What began as a small game became a skill-building ritual.
We didn’t do this every week, but we did it often enough that it became a defining part of our family rhythm. Over the years, I estimate I spent about $120 on these little speeches. That’s 24 five-minute presentations—just two hours of speaking in total. But the return on that investment has been enormous.
Today, both of my sons can speak in front of a room without blinking. School presentations? Never a problem. Public events? They step up without hesitation. They don’t see speaking in front of others as a threat—it’s just another form of communication.
And that’s the real win. Public speaking is one of the most common forms of social anxiety. It can hold people back in work, in relationships, in community life. But confidence in communication opens doors—socially, professionally, and personally. You don’t need to be a polished TED Talk speaker, but having the ability to stand and share an idea clearly and comfortably is a powerful life skill.
Looking back, I think this little dinner table experiment was one of the best things I ever did as a parent. I didn’t just help them get comfortable speaking—I gave them a tool to face down fear. I turned the anxiety I grew up with into an opportunity for them.
And all it cost was $120.